Hurrah




Hurrah, I am a woman! I am sitting here, wet hair, and have just had another day just for me – at home. Beauty is not only coming from inside, therefore it is calming and satisfactory to set aside hours to work on the outside! I am allowed, am I not? But – I would not approve of the man in my life doing the same…! Men – in my world, ought not be attracted to the idea either! I can enjoy time with my kids, cuddle them, being soft. Men – can they, without risking getting a nickname? I like Dads who play with their children! But I like them to do it Dad’s way, not Mum’s way. I can dress up, put on jewellery, makeup, color my hair and paint my nails, without risking any adverse effects. I can nurture the weak, need help, and ask for it. And it is being interpreted as it should. Those of the opposite sex who regard the feminine side as negative, they are not men of my preference anyway! What boy or man, with self respect, could admit to his friends that he spent hours in the bathroom before going out? And what woman with appreciate having to fight for space in front of the mirror every morning? Many men/boys have developed into male Barbiedolls, apply tanning cream, kajal and mascara, shave themselves both on the upper and lower parts of the body, and have entered the belief that women prefer smooth powdered bottoms! Yes, we spend a lot of time with our kids – but when I want a Man, the kids are out of my head and ancient instincts rule! I dream of being provided for and taken care of, without feeling it is wrong, except for those women who feel we should look after ourselves. Maybe I wouldn’t have had that dream if I wasn’t sure that I can look after myself? But after several years as a single parent, I know that this is not something to be longing for! - And I can see that my kids have been subject to the burden of not having Mum there when she was needed…. What man, with som self-respect, could publish such dreams? Strong men are men. Secure men are men. Wild men are men. Cavemen with 2000-look are men! I hope that the outrageous, makeup-wearing, dandylike, sensitive, oversocial,… are rare exceptions. The SNAG variety from the 70’s, with only one masculine attribute, the beard, was after all a shortlived variety. A variety which was created by 70’s women who wanted a male friend and babysitter only. And we saw what happened. Those men who took the bait, and could be formed and manipulated, were thrown out when they were no longer needed. Because babysitters can be employed, female best friends were there, and MEN after all, were supposed to ignite emotions, desire - and emphasize the feminine in ourselves. And now we are on our way to ruin the Males again! Do we actually know what we want? Couldn’t we just let men be men – and love them for it? I feel privileged. I can give birth to kids, I can use my entire register of emotions without feeling ashamed, I can dress up, work or choose not to. I can enjoy the man’s wish to protect and look after – in the same way I wish to protect and look after my kids. I can enjoy be physically weaker and phycologically stronger. I can be lifted by the admiration of myself as a woman, because I allow the man to be a man! It is the women over the last decades who have made me take of some of the choices I have made today. I understand that equal work should receive equal pay, and that many men appreciate that the woman contribute to the family economy. I understand that many women want a carreer outside the home, and that this can justify their wishes – men with soft values who enjoy changing nappies… but do these women understand that the same men cannot be transformed into conquering them, once the kids have been put to bed? I am not so sure if it is right that we should have children, if carreer is our priority. Doesn’t the bad conscience tell us something? Kids need to be kids a little longer – they need the attention a Mum at home can provide them. But the Government has not made it possible to provide for a family with only one income. Taxes and cost of living has made it impossible. The women have to work, the men must accept it, and kids are placed outside home during 80 per cent of their life when they are awake. It is rarely a real choice to be at home with the kids! So, then comes the question: Is this what we were fighting for? If that is the case, the women who have fought for us have somehow derailed at one stage or another. Or maybe they were just tricked around by a greedy Government who saw the possibility of further income to the taxman? I want back the real option of staying at home! I want it, but haven’t got a chance against what they call “development”. Women and Men are not alike We have different needs, evolved from ancient instincts. That we actually work to get rid of our inner selves are frightening. Men cannot be men, and women cannot be women. But when I look around, it is the boys (Who are mostly boys) – and the men who are men, who picks Women. And Women no longer want SNAGS, they do not want men with makeup as Dads for their kids, or men who drown themselves in soft values. Maybe some young girls want it, Women do not. How can a man who has changed nappies and fed the baby with porridge all day be transformed into a superlover in the evening? So…. what is we think we are developing ? We are in 2000, and we haven’t even understood that we complement each other. We do not need to be alike. We ought not. We should admire each others strengths and complement each other’s weaknesses. Enjoy the opposite sex with it’s particularities, and enjoy what is natural to both! Then women resembling a waterfront docker and SNAGS will still be the exception. Hurrah! I am a woman. And that is what I want to be most…For real!	Hurrah I am a woman! Food for thoughts 40 years... and I have never felt better!

By Kristin Burmeister. Translated by Tor Solberg
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